Begging Obama says Sign my Birthday Card and give me MO Money

Hello America. It me. Yes it is. Your president Barack Obama.

America. I…I…I.I..have an invitation for all of you. Something.. I…I…I know will please you and bring you great joy.

It will be something for you to remember, it will..it…. it will go down in history. Something….. something you can tell your children about…… your grandchildren.

I’m…I’m….I’mmm inviting all of you to sign my birthday card. And…and….and I want you to remember on your birthday the privilege you had of signing my Birthday card; for.. for..for……My Birthday. I..I…I..I….I mean it should be an honor for you to sign my… my.. my card, ah my….. my….. my Birthday card. It’s the right thing to do cause…..cause……I….I….I……..I’m Abe Lincoln. Better said, “The One” you’ve waited for.

You’ll have to excuse me, somethings wrong with my teleprompter.

So…. so.. so.. I…..I…..I want you to be sure and sign MY birthday card. Wish me a happy birthday cause…cause…cause I know you do.  Ah, you would think you would want to sign my card as a way of thanking me. Thanking me for all I’ve done. Not…not..not just for you but for America.

Now I know…. I know……… ah……….I know the economy  is doing great, cause I……..I…I…I…am… ah.. ah.. ah.. you know… ah… it’s my birthday, ah, ah, I……I…….I………think. I mean I’ve hidden and changed so many documents and things in my past it’s hard for me to keep up with me……….

You know…we’ve come a long way in transforming America………….and we’re almost there. But…but…but I won’t be able to finish the job if I  can’t….ah…ah… outspend my opponent. You all know him……….who I’m talkin’ about. Yea, that’s right….you know…..you know…. Mr. One Percent!

So I’m asking for your help…You can also send me a personal birthday card and….and…..and…..put $3.00 in it. Now I know you want…….. you want to help me…….like I’ve helped all of you. Yea…yea…yea.. that’s right.

Now…. I’ve spent most of my time talkin’ about you……so now I want to talk a little about me and the election. “My upcoming birthday next week could be the last one I celebrate as President of the United States, but that’s not up to me — it’s up to you.”

And also….that $5 you were going to spend on beer to wet your whistle…….. send me yo money and wet your whistle with water. Water’s good for you…….and I…I…I..I need mo money.

So…….so…. so send them cards with mo money. My future plans……I mean your future depends on it. Just 3 dollars. That’s all I’m asking. And…and…and….when I’m reelected………..I won’t care or need you anymore.

 

 

 

 

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1 comment for “Begging Obama says Sign my Birthday Card and give me MO Money

  1. August 5, 2012 at 5:59 am

    this goes to my bookmark list. fantastic collection of texts. keep up the work.

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