BANNED: Evil Donut Sprinkles

All hail President Obama, our most benevolent dictator on high. He is so wonderful to we lowly, stupid citizens that next year his FDA is going to save us all from the evils of donut sprinkles with a ban on transfats that will have an effect the nefarious product.

Yes, our great half white father in Washington is really only concerned about our wellbeing, isn’t he?

As Mike Flynn reported last week, early next year Obama’s Food and Drug Administration is set to firm up its new rules governing the evil, monstrous, highly dangerous sprinkles. And to save us from our own too-stupid selves, Obama is planning to ban the tiny, multicolored decorations.

What is the basis for this ban? Obama’s desire to ban transfats from our diet.

Although the amount of trans fats Americans consume has declined significantly in recent years, the FDA’s quest to completely eliminate a particular type of trans fat threatens to eliminate the noble “sprinkle,” used to decorate holiday treats and donuts. Even a small amount of joy is suspect in the FDA’s brave, new, food-monitored world.

In recent years, research has determined that consuming large amounts of trans fats is harmful to the heart. Trans fats have been in the American diet since the 1950s, but recent awareness of its health risks have pushed food companies and restaurants to minimize its use. Today, Americans consume just 1.3 grams of trans fats a day, around 0.6% of total caloric intake. No research has shown this level of consumption to pose any risk.

If Only we had Obama decades before, why we’d all be living forever, eating only the most proper foods, and starving at lunch time in our schools.

Dat Obama, he really, really cares, don’t he?

Now, get me a blue pencil so I can add “food cop” to the president’s job description in that Constitution thingie.

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